Mother/Daughter/Sister Wounds

Updated: Feb 14

Mother/Daughter/Sister wounds exist, and in WitchSchool they can reveal themselves. Here is how we transform them and heal them:

We live in a very fast-paced time. This atmosphere of being rushed can be challenging when we are in the process of healing systemic wounds, because the process unfolds sometimes outside of our timeline for change. Healing the Mother Wound takes time.

In WitchSchool we use archetypes and Goddess’ mythology to help us ceremonialize many rites of passage. It is common for people to reach places of intense discomfort and think “What am I doing here? Why are we taking it out on each other?”. It’s at this point that students can get down on themselves, drop out or doubt their ability to heal. Yet, it’s at this place in the course when it’s important not to give up, to hang on and get the necessary conflict resolution in place and keep going. The ‘where were you when I needed you’ feeling, permeates society, whereby patriarchal and hierarchical ways of resolving conflict make winners and losers. It has denigrated the inherent collaborative approach of the divine feminine.

The process that WitchSchool offers on healing this Mother/Daughter and Sister Wound helps to:

  • Gain spiritual clarity on the “mother gap” (gap between what you needed and what you actually received from your mother) and how you have compensated for this gap through dysfunctional patterns and beliefs;

  • Transform the inner and outer Great Mother into a compassionate, kind supportive mother figure.

I would say its this step in the healing process that works to de-construct the false self and false belief that another will heal us, rather than we heal our own selves. Then, in phase 2 of WitchSchool we begin to integrate, embody and realize in ourselves as the Divine Feminine, and ultimately as the Self.

The problem is that many of us stop short and never make it through Phase 1. The fruits and gifts aren’t fully tasted. Students often usually stop short because it gets uncomfortable. We think this means something is wrong and to leave school means stopping the cycle. But what students must realize is that it’s necessary for a de-construction to take place within the circle, in order to re-frame the Mother Daughter-Sister Wound.

By virtue of living in a patriarchal culture, we internalize structures and beliefs that actually prevent our empowerment and self-realization as women. So, without this necessary de-construction and discomfort, no authentic transformation can take place. That’s why I am so passionate about being brutally honest that this work takes time in class and outside of class. I emphasize that each woman is worth the time and effort it takes to do this work.

If we follow the process all the way through, at the end of the 12 months, we can expect an emergence of true self, which contains 3 steps:

1. Integration.

2. Embodiment.

The more we heal the Mother Wound, the more we can embody these qualities:

  • The ability to say No. With that comes Knowing and the ability to take emotional risks; being open, authentic, and kindly honest;

  • Willingness to be vulnerable and transparent;

  • The ability to be imperfect without self-recrimination;

  • Owning one’s physical presence with confidence and power;

  • Embracing one’s cycles and natural fluctuations without judgment;

  • Lightness, laughter and deep trust in circle by Phase 3, even when you don’t know a greater capacity to experience pleasure or welcome good things;

  • The ability to hold sacred space for yourself and for others to know their deeper truths;

  • The ability to experience abundance as part of your own nature, not something outside of you;

  • The ability to welcome fear and uncomfortable emotions into the core of your Being to recognize the light ones.

3. Realization.

A knowing of your divine nature dawns in your being.

  • Individual Realization of your role and responsibility

  • Having the support of a Crone to help mentor you in Phase 3

  • A supportive, stable community of Witch Alumni that fosters safety, authenticity and transparency. This could be in informal circles to celebrate a phase of the moon or an Earth Holiday such as the Equinox or Solstice but mostly a group of friends in a community with the intention to support one another’s unfoldment.

We heal our own personal selves first, we contribute to a circle of sisters and then to our families and subsequently to the collective community level, and we realize our inherent oneness with the Mother divine.